Consent is the permission for something to happen. In the context of sexual education, consent is the agreement to engage in sexual activity. It is voluntary and can be withdrawn at any point. Consent should always be clear, sober, and informed.
Who should give consent? Everyone involved in the activity must be able to give consent. They must be informed, sober, of legal age, and not under any threat or coercion.
What about the role of drugs and alcohol on consent? If someone is intoxicated or incapacitated, they cannot give consent.
Consent is never implied or assumed and it's not a one time thing. Consent is needed every time you engage in an activity. Think of it like an ongoing conversation. Just because someone agreed to one type of activity doesn't mean they agree to everything. If someone said yes in the past, it does not mean yes right now. And just because you are in a relationship or partnership does not mean you have express permission to have sex with your partner(s).
What does consent look like? Consent is active communication. Talk openly and directly with your partners. Here are some questions you can ask to check in:
- Is this okay?
- Are you comfortable?
- Do you want to stop?
- Is there anything you are uncomfortable with?
How do I know if someone has given consent? They will tell you. Consent is a clear, expressed "Yes." The best way to know if someone gave consent is to ask. Consent is not the absence of no. If your partners say nothing, that is not consent. Keep in mind that consent can be withdrawn any time.
Let's review. Consent is clear, sober, informed agreement to engage in sexual activity. This communication between partners is free from pressure, coercion, or threat. All parties are of legal age. Consent is an enthusiastic yes!